Smile Like You Mean It

haha

Rum. Jump. Fall

is a lot funnier than

Run. Jump. Fall

your crush

I can’t wait to see you soon. It’s just really exciting. Like that’s as much as I can say. It’s just all excitement right now to the point where I can’t think. So…see you soon. :)

I realized with this Day letter thing…there’s going to be multiple people that I write letters to. And there’s also going to be people that I should be writing to…but I chose someone else. This is going to be really interesting, actually

Day 1. your best friend

I’m absolutely shocked that I can call you my best friend. It used to be this big joke like I would say “hey, wana be best friends? I think we’re best friends.” and you used to give me that “uhh…whatever.” And after all the shit we’ve gone through…I’m even more shocked that I can definitely say you’re my best friend. Even when shit happens or we get in arguments or stop talking…we always end up coming back to our friendship. I think that alone says a lot about the strength of it all. Our friendship hasn’t been the longest I’ve ever had by a long shot…it’s only been about two and a half years. But it’s been one of the closest I’ve had for sure. You were the one I planned adventures with…even if they were so fucking bizarre that I can’t remember half of them. You were the one who saved me from Victoria’s Secret credit card debt (which if I got that credit card…debt would’ve been inevitable). You introduced me to my now favorite movie. You taught me how to skate and caught me when you thought I was going too fast (which I wasn’t, by the way, I was totally in control). You would go to noodles with me (even though you don’t fucking eat there…just get fresca). You listened to me talk endlessly about the bullshit that was going on in my life and about guys that you never liked and couldn’t understand why I gave them a chance to begin with. You were the one I first called when my dad was leaving for Iraq, you even left your friends for a minute to talk to me and make sure I was ok. You stayed with me when it was 11 o’clock and my keys were locked in my car and that guy was trying to break in and get them. I could give a millions other examples of times when you were just my best friend and the littlest things can set off a memory I have of you (…like nacho cheese). You never get angry with me even though I’ve probably given you countless reasons to be angry. You’re always there for me for whatever I need. Whether it’s someone to joke around with, someone to listen to me, or just someone to tell me I’m being fucking stupid. You’re there. And it means the world to me. With college coming up, I know that there’s going to be a lot of friendships that will fade away but you promised ours wouldn’t and the more I think about it and the more I look at our friendship now I think we’ll still be close. And that’s fucking amazing. haha You’re fucking amazing (and I’m sure when you read this you’ll be like “yeah, I know” …cocky bastard :). But, seriously, you mean so much to me and I appreciate everything you do for me. Really.

Gonna Try This :)

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Sonnet 148

O me! what eyes hath Love put in my head,
Which have no correspondence with true sight;
Or, if they have, where is my judgment fled,
That censures falsely what they see aright?
If that be fair whereon my false eyes dote,
What means the world to say it is not so?
If it be not, then love doth well denote
Love’s eye is not so true as all men’s: no,
How can it? O! how can Love’s eye be true,
That is so vexed with watching and with tears?
No marvel then, though I mistake my view;
The sun itself sees not, till heaven clears.
O cunning Love! with tears thou keep’st me blind,
Lest eyes well-seeing thy foul faults should find.

It’s sad how some things have gone through such drastic changes. Sure that could apply to anything…and I’m sure we could think of some awful, devastating examples. But what about how “how are you” has changed? That seems to unimportant. But…no it is important. “How are you” and its variations has now become a question for passing. How often do we ask “how are you”? It’s common when we see someone for the first time in awhile or in a greeting. But what answer are you looking for? Let’s be honest. You expect “fine,” “good,” something along those lines. Someone needs more than that. Someone needs you to be sincerely concerned with how they are. It’s nice…really, it’s so nice (and shocking) when someone wants to hear your happiness, your frustrations, your accomplishments, whatever’s on your mind. I feel like we should be applying this to not only those close friends…but the people we see who are clearly struggling. I’m sure you can imagine someone…the one who’s sitting alone…whatever. It doesn’t take much to listen…but it means so much to people. And those people who actually take the time and energy to listen to others…those are the people who are genuine and worth keeping.

It really doesn’t take much.

One of my “wirings” is that I put so much importance on deep relationships. I work extremely hard to maintain close friendships. And that’s both a blessing and a curse. Obviously a blessing because it’s kept great people in my life. But it’s a curse because I fight to the death to keep some friendships…that aren’t healthy for me.

The way I see this…when you’re a little kid on the playground…and the big kid pushes you off the swingset. You have a few options: you can get up right then and there and have him push you back down, you can attempt to reason with him until you’re blue in the face, or you can wait for him to leave, get up and go on with your life.

I think the best thing friendship wise sometimes is to calmly, peacefully let someone walk. If they wanted to be there…they would’ve stayed…or they will come back. But there’s no point in getting hurt when they’re not ready or not wanting.

The kind of friend I need right now is:

• The kind who will go to Noodles and Company for the hundredth time and not complain
• The kind who promises hugs the next time they see you
• The kind that lends you your favorite movies for the weekend
• The kind that asks you sincerely “how are you doing?”
• The kind that stays for a reason.

I’m working on realizing what I do and don’t deserve. This is a step in the positive direction.

Just clarifying…any work of literature is the author’s creation. It’s a tangible replication of a writer’s mind and his thoughts. The problem with literature (and I suppose the beauty of it, too) is that readers will always tweak a work to fit their analysis. He’s talking abou this. He’s writing about her. And so forth. Keep in mind…you have no idea. That’s not cruel and that’s not calling anyone ignorant. Your interpretations make you realize your own truths. But it’s not fair to label a work with your personal concrete analysis. It’s never right. Each time you read something you should see a new meaning. And there’s chance you’ll be on the same thought as the author…but you’ll never know unless the author lets you into his mind verbally. Don’t take my writings and assume who or what I’m talking about. That’s not why I write. I write for intrinsic purposes, of course. But I also write so that what I’m saying…will apply to someone else in their own way. If you’re going to read…focus on what it means in your life.. Not mine. You’ll feel far more satisfied.

No longer going to be upset :)

The best analogy I can think of for a heart is a drum.

The beat always sounds strongest with an inside that’s empty.

did it work?!?!?!?